In Which I Must Have Landed in a Terrible Parallel Universe or: Mansfield Park by Jane Austen

Summary

Goodreads:  Taken from the poverty of her parents' home, Fanny Price is brought up with her rich cousins at Mansfield Park, acutely aware of her humble rank and with only her cousin Edmund as an ally. When Fanny's uncle is absent in Antigua, Mary Crawford and her brother Henry arrive in the neighbourhood, bringing with them London glamour and a reckless taste for flirtation. As her female cousins vie for Henry's attention, and even Edmund falls for Mary's dazzling charms, only Fanny remains doubtful about the Crawfords' influence and finds herself more isolated than ever. A subtle examination of social position and moral integrity, Mansfield Parkis one of Jane Austen's most profound works.


Thoughts

Person who is inhabiting my body right now - who are you and where did you put Elizabeth?  How is this even possible?!  I LOVE JANE AUSTEN.  That has been a defining fact of my life for well over a decade now.  And yet, here I am, and I freaking hated this book.  Not mild dislike, not meh feelings  -  hated. If I rated on pure feels this would be a one star.  But I can't justify rating this book lower than some of the other books I've rated two stars (although this is making me rethink my lack of one stars so far this year). Because it's still well written and whatnot, it's just...this plot sucks! 

Be warned, spoilers follow!

This book is so moralistic, and I actually think Maria Bertram's story might have been more sympathetic to discover.  I mean how sad is it that she's fallen in love with a man who toys with her, goes after her cousin, then retoys with her - but still doesn't love her?  In her place, don't you think she would have believed he loved her and would marry her?  Why wouldn't she think that? In another love story, it wouldn't be terrible she married someone else and then had an affair - if she was the main character, it would simply be tragic.  I think I would have connected with that story more than this one, which really punishes her for these decisions, even as the narrator acknowledges that it isn't just a fling for Maria - she truly loves Henry.  She'd be a much more sympathetic leading lady.

That being said, I don't dislike Fanny, but she and I are definitely opposed in our core beliefs.  A lot of people have a problem with her character because she's a super goody-goody. Which I don't disagree with at all, seeing her character develop from being very withdrawn to blossoming into a character who is much more open - actually because of Henry Crawford, but more on him later - is beautifully done.  There's nothing wrong with her exactly, but as I tend to gravitate to more bold heroines, it's not surprising she's not one of my favourites.  I think a lot of her opinions are spot on. For example, I agree that Mary isn't a good match for Edmund - but it's less to do with the moral reasons and more to do with the simple fact that they have entirely different interests/life goals.  And unlike Fanny, I don't think Mary's reaction to Maria/Henry's affair was appalling - she simply wanted to do what was best for her family, and...well I guess I just would have acted and believed the same things as Mary.  I think her reasonings and reactions were smart (and even though it was perhaps not wise to confess her thoughts on Tom's being ill...when your entire future is based on your husbands income and place in society...doesn't it make sense that she'd be interested in what Edmund's future changes might be?  I'm kind of used to that kind of thinking in my historical fiction!)  And since Mary is Fanny's foil, I'm automatically on the opposite side of the spectrum here.

As for the love interests...I'm sorry but Edmund is boring, and he totally doesn't deserve Fanny.  He spends the entire book mooning over Mary - to Fanny.  And then after all that, all we get at the end of the book was - yes he was super sad about Mary, and when it was appropriate to move on he did, and he realized...oh yeah Fanny is pretty cool!  THAT'S TELLING, NOT SHOWING JANE.  You are better than this!  There was no gradual change of heart we saw, and there was no love confession.  NO. LOVE. CONFESSION.  How can you go from reading things like:

“In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.” 

And most especially this:

"You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope...I have loved none but you."

To a simple summation of what happened! 

But...but...I was promised a love confession!

Seriously this change of heart happens in like the last few pages of the book, and all of a sudden they're married! It reads like an epilogue, actually.  If they are supposed to be the main romantic focus here, I want some character development here! Not having super intense events happening (the scandals happen all together and towards the very end)...and then it immediately diffuses into - these people were happy, these people weren't here's a quick version of why, the end!  It's like she skipped the entire falling action bit that's supposed to go between the climax and the conclusion!  So you really don't feel like Edmund ever really loves Fanny nearly as much as she loves him.  And that makes me unhappy.  Edmund's character never evolves from start to finish in the book.  He is literally exactly the same person at the beginning of the book as he is at the end, and since he's a main character I think that odd, since Fanny, Henry, and Mary at the very least go through some pretty major character development.  And since he's supposed to be the leading man...I expect more.  (Or as I put in my goodreads review - Edmund is a boring sissy boy.)

On the flip side, I thought Henry Crawford showed real promise.  It feels like with his attention to Fanny, he is the one who really brings her out of her shell.  While she's comfortable with Edmund, it never goes beyond his company.  With Henry, she starts being more open with everyone.  He also woos her, and makes her feel like she's the only one he is into, and it feels like he's truly falling in love with.  Which is why it comes as such a shock when he runs off with Maria - even the explanation for that doesn't feel like it fits his character.  While I can see he is a guy who is easily distracted (which is not an attractive attribute of his) - if the explanation is that his pride was stung by someone he's already won, wouldn't he still be after Fanny more than after a woman he had already made his conquest once?  That reasoning just doesn't ring true to me.  He woos Fanny despite her significant (but relative) poverty in comparison to her cousins, despite meeting her family.  He still woos her.  And I honestly don't believe it's because she kept saying no - I think that peaked his interest at the start, but I feel like he really did fall in love with her through the process.  No, he isn't a perfect love interest or character.  I feel as far as Jane's "bad boys" go, he is actually not so bad.  That being said, I totally could have been convinced of Edmund as a love interest...if Jane had ever made it feel like more than just a one-sided love of Fanny's part.  (Actually, maybe those parallels with Maria are on purpose, but because Maria is less moral she doesn't get a happy ending?)   The whole ending just felt like it was really half-hearted and lazy.

I'm going to go re-evaluate my life now.  Things are different now that there's a Jane Austen book I loathed.

I'm Dying, Someone Please Send a Lifeboat: Pegasus by Robin McKinley

Summary

Goodreads:  On her twelfth birthday, Princess Sylviianel is ceremonially bound to her own Pegasus, Ebon. For a thousand years humans and pegasi have lived in peace, relying on human magicians and pegasi shamans to converse. But close friends Sylvi and Ebon can talk. As their bond strengthens, can their friendship threaten to destroy the peace between their nations?

Thoughts

Guys. We need to talk.  I think I need an intervention.

On one hand, this book was everything I love/expect in a McKinley novel.  It's definitely not for everyone - the character development is very internal, there's beautiful world building done - but if you're more of an action packed plot driven person then this book is definitely not for you (and nor is Robin McKinley probably).  And I loved it. I mean, I'm a huge fan, so this is the sort of book I salivate over.  None of this is unexpected, and if you have enjoyed her books, then I would definitely recommend this.  

BUT.

AND IT'S A BIG BUT.

THAT ENDING ASLDKJFA;TJIROAWIAOWIRTH

I literally threw a tantrum. I had a full on melt down, complete with laugh/crying and arm flailing/leg kicking.  My boyfriend was rather alarmed and somewhat bemused. 

Basically how I entered the room after finishing this book.

 I would be upset about an ending like that in ANY book, but this is worse somehow.  I feel betrayed.  I had been warned that there was a ridiculous cliffhanger in this, and in general I'd say if Robin has a weakness, it can be her endings, but it's Robin. I've read all her books! HOW COULD SHE DO THIS TO ME?!!?!?!?  About 100 pages from the end, the pace really starts picking it up and gets really, really intense.  And then about 10 pages from the end it hits full throttle and OH MY GOD HOW. WHY.  It feels like she cuts off in the middle of the MOST. CLIMACTIC. SCENE.  Why?!? Just why? And it was published FOUR YEARS AGO. Which means that there's no sequel in sight, especially as she's published a book and has an ongoing serial.  THESE THINGS HAPPENED BEFORE THE SEQUEL.

I just...I feel hurt. And confused.  Not that this changes how I feel about Robin McKinley, because she remains one of my all time favourite authors and that will never, ever change.  I just...I feel a little bit like a puppy who just got kicked and it doesn't understand what it did wrong and why its owner doesn't love it anymore.

...I'm totally not overreacting at all.

I feel like I'm drowning. In despair. Someone send help.

The Book Challenge: Day 04 - Your favorite book or series ever

So...I am going to have a real problem sticking to my guns about no repeats on this list (especially since I keep picking more than one book).

I've already talked about Harry Potter, The Chronicles of Narnia, All of Tamora Pierce's books, Abarat, and Unspoken, all of which would be contenders for this category.  I'm going to go ahead and see if I can pick a standalone novel, so let's see where that leaves me...


                                                

I've picked both of these books because
A. Then I don't have to choose between them, and because
B. The less you know about them, the better.  It means I can't talk much about them, but I'm hoping you'll take me at my word here that if you love INSANE plot twists, both of these books are definitely for you.  (And on a sidenote, I've discovered almost all of my favourite standalone novels are adult fiction.  There's like two that aren't.  Is this because almost all of YA is series now? Uncertain...)

If you like gothic feeling books, I couldn't recommend The Thirteenth Tale more. I cannot talk enough about how in love I am with this book.  If you read her book Bellman & Black and hadn't read The Thirteenth Tale, please please please don't judge her writing by that book.  (Or rather her ability to write things that are heart racing, absorbing, and have a plot. Her writing is beautiful even in Bellman & Black, it just didn't actually make anything happen).  I don't know a single person who didn't love this book. (And these are all reviewers or authors whose opinions I value greatly.  Also sorry not sorry, I was a total creeper and totally checked out if we loved the same books.  What? It's important to know!)  Basically, the writing in this book is just beautiful (and we know how I am with beautiful prose), it definitely has a complicated premise (so if you like your mysteries clear cut and simple, this isn't for you), has a...narrator that is my favourite type (LOVE - it's even like an unreliable narrator getting the story from an even more unreliable narrator. IT'S THE BEST.) and best of all, it's all about books :)  (Also if you liked The Thirteenth Tale and haven't checked out The Shadow of the Wind - and vice versa - you totally should.)


The Double Bind is no less complicated than The Thirteenth Tale, but it's a very different sort of mystery.  But again, I can't say how.  I will say it is just as...dark, but in a more graphic way?  This was my very first Chris Bohjalian novel, and remains my favourite.  If you've read any of his novels, I will say that they are all very different, and this one is definitely in a category all on its own, so if you've read his more popular books (like Midwives) it is nothing like them, and you shouldn't bring any conceptions of his style of story telling from those.  Even more than The Thirteenth Tale there's just very little I can talk about.  Like...there are things that I want to say...I just can't! Because you need to know NOTHING beforehand.  Just...can someone PLEASE read this so that I have at least one friend who has read it and I can talk to someone about it?  GO READ THIS NOW.

Hissy Fit - Mary Kay Andrews

Summary

Goodreads:  Keeley Murdock's wedding to A.J. Jernigan should have been the social event of the season. But all bets are off when she catches her fiancé doing the deed with her maid of honor at the country club rehearsal dinner. The wedding's off, too, as Keeley pitches the hissy fit of the century, earning herself instant notoriety in the small town of Madison, Georgia.

Now A.J.'s unscrupulous banking family is bringing financial pressure to bear on Keeley's interior design business. But a redheaded stranger in a vintage yellow Cadillac is riding to her rescue. Will Mahoney, the new owner of a failing local bra plant, is about to offer the designing woman just what she needs: a plum decorating assignment, a chance to clear her name, and a golden opportunity to give her cheating varmint of an ex-fiancé the comeuppance he so richly deserves.

Thoughts

Oh my god that is the MOST RIDICULOUS ending I've ever read and now I can't stop laughing!

     After a long time, his hand found the zipper to my tightly fitted dress. The dress had begun to fall off my shoulders when I sensed, rather than heard, someone else in the room.

     "About goddamn time," Miss Nancy roared. And then she leaned in, flipped the lock on the doorknob, and gently closed the door.

These are literally the last words of the entire book. Like seriously.  I'm dying here!

Just so you guys know, the only reason I ended up reviewing this book was because of that last page, just so I could share the wonder of it with you.  You're welcome.


It was entertaining, but I couldn't shut off how much everything bothered me. People being judged by what their families did in the past, (entire female lines being called sluts). Nonchalance at women losing their entire source of income because the wives were pissed.  "Chick lit" can honestly be the worst at perpetuating sexism which I think is a real shame.  If we're going to have an entire genre just for women, shouldn't it be filled with awesomeness and badassery?  Instead of having this stigma of "not real literature", we might as well just OWN it.  Of course it's not all books like this - I LOVE Marian Keyes (I recommend the Walsh Family books) and Sophie Kinsella.  You want to read comedy? They're just absolute gold.  Check it.  But back to what I'm supposed to be reviewing.  There are so few female characters here that are shown in a good light.  In fact it's pretty much just the main character and her aunt.  And of course the main character is shown as superior by setting her apart from the other women.  And of course her best friend is not only:

A. A complete bitch
B. Comes from a line of sluts
C. Has no character explanation or depth.

I just can't.  Things like that...WHY? Just why? And of course the fiance's cheating is explained as: men from that family just can't keep it in their pants.  Seriously?  I will say that the main character puts very little stock in that. But then the fiance also has a weird mom fetish thing. So. There's that too.

Yes, there were other parts of the book that I liked (I mean there must have been? I gave it a meh instead of a blegh, but upon writing this review I can't remember the good things.  OH - I liked her other bff who occasionally slipped into gay cliches, but otherwise was lots of fun), but they were so overshadowed by almost literally ALL of my pet peeves that this book certainly wasn't for me, and I could not possibly recommend it to anyone else.  And authors really have some strange ideas about what the small town south is like.  Hint: not like this book.

And then after all of that, everything was wrapped up SUPER quickly. Like there was a before and an after, and no leading to the building of relationships. It was like BAM we're dating now!  Plus that ending.

TL;DR

Don't? I mean if you are one gung-ho chick lit reader, maybe this is for you?  

The Strange and Beautiful Sorrows of Ava Lavender - Leslye Walton

Summary

Goodreads:  Magical realism, lyrical prose, and the pain and passion of human love haunt this hypnotic generational saga.

Foolish love appears to be the Roux family birthright, an ominous forecast for its most recent progeny,Ava Lavender. Ava—in all other ways a normal girl—is born with the wings of a bird.

In a quest to understand her peculiar disposition and a growing desire to fit in with her peers, sixteen

year old Ava ventures into the wider world, ill-prepared for what she might discover and naïve to the twisted motives of others. Others like the pious Nathaniel Sorrows, who mistakes Ava for an angel and whose obsession with her grows until the night of the Summer Solstice celebration.

That night, the skies open up, rain and feathers fill the air, and Ava’s quest and her family’s saga build to a devastating crescendo.

First-time author Leslye Walton has constructed a layered and unforgettable mythology of what it means to be born with hearts that are tragically, exquisitely human.

Quotes

"The Roux children were so accustomed to their neighbors' voices permeating the thin walls that each child could eventually speak several languages - all four in French and English, Emilienne in Italian, René in Dutch and German, and Margaux in Spanish.  The Youngest, Pierette, only spoke in what was later identified as Greek until her seventh birthday, when in perfect French she declared, "Mon dieu! Oú est mon gâteau? My God, where is my cake?" Which made them all suspect that Pierette had many tricks up her sleeves."

"But it was the cake their guests remembered - the vanilla custard filling, the buttercream finish, the slight taste of raspberries that had surely been added to the batter. No one brought home any slices of leftover cake to place under their pillow, hoping to dream of their future mate; instead, the guests of Ignatius Lux and Estella Margolis ate the whole cake and then had dreams of eating it again.  After this wedding unmarried women woke in the night with tears in their eyes, not because they were alone, but because there wasn't any cake left."

Thoughts

Wow. How do I even begin to describe why I loved this book?  I honestly don't know.  It's just got...it.  You know what I mean?  I think it's a problem I often come across when trying to describe a book that's magic realism...and surprise, surprise this one is too.  There's something about the way authors write in this genre that's just...AGH.   I don't know how to describe it!  I mean it was beautiful.   It's absurd and horribly morbid...and you know, it kind of reminds me of the humour you find in Lemony Snicket's Series of Unfortunate Events at times.  This is my favourite genre, and I have just had the BEST luck with magic realism.  I honestly can't think of a single book in this genre that I didn't like. (Which is probably why it's my favourite genre, it's all been good so far).

I love this writing style. This isn't going to be for people who need more of an action based plot. There is a plot, but it is uncovered more through a meandering character growth that adds suspense and makes it a plot. I happen to love stories like this.  I think I also loved that it was so female-centric.  You've got three generations of women whose stories are told within this book, and they're all kind of tragic in that funny morbid way.  Which sounds completely nonsensical I know, but if you read the book you will TOTALLY get what I mean.  There's just so much in here - yes, there's a plot and plenty of suspense that's ratcheted up even as we learn about things that are generations removed from THE EVENT everything leads up to.  You get musings on loss and love and...man.  I really have the hardest time trying to describe books that aren't all actiony and flaily because I can't seem to find the right words.  It was a beautiful story, it was written so well (and you know how swoony I get over prose).  I'm going to stop trying to describe it.  Instead, I wholly recommend both Nafiza's and Christina's reviews, who has captured my feelings on the book more clearly than I have been able to (hence my giving up and searching their reviews haha).  Not everything was great about this book, but I can't mention anything because of spoilers, and honestly in the whole context of this book I just don't care.  I am absolutely going to buy Leslye Walton's next book, and you should too.  After you buy this one of course.  And since I loved this so much and have been unable to describe how I feel...read these reviews too.  I feel like a lazy not-reviewer for referencing every one else's reviews, but I just...I can't even name half the emotions running through me right now just THINKING about this book

Shelby
Reynje

Sara

And in the interest of what I thought while reading this...because I seriously want to reread it to process everything. And it's definitely good enough for a reread.  Serious spoilers below!! Also if you're a terrible person like me who usually reads the last couple pages before I finish the book (HUSH DON'T JUDGE ME)....really don't.  Don't do it.  Luckily this was an ebook which stops this habit in it's tracks for me so I didn't but...yeah.  Don't do that. (Actually I am probably the only person who does that haha)

Nathaniel Sorrows creeps me out. Is he going to rape her? And that pillow bit? GROSS.  

Oh God. I knew it was going to be bad, but not that bad...I can't...I feel a bit sick. And horrified. 

Ugh I wanted that situation to be less terrible.  And I'm irritated by the rape for some reason - I knew it was going to happen, so it's not like it was a surprise.  I think this is like the third book in a row that I've read with rape in it though, so I'm just seriously not in the mood.  And Nathaniel Sorrows is really...well everyone's tragedies somehow have a sort of distance to them, so I guess the distance here is in his character development?  Because this was seriously one of the most brutal things I've ever read.  AND I read it on an airplane. (WHY?! I KNOW better than to do that!)

Holy...what?! Why?! Why do this to me in the last few pages?? God. I didn't see that coming. I CAN'T HANDLE LIFE ANYMORE.  Am I wrong? Did I misunderstand?  Ava was going to be happy! She had someone she loved, and he loved her back! She wasn't going to deny herself for decades. I wanted just ONE HEA!  No one else mentioned this in their reviews (then again, it's also like literally the last two pages.)  I am seriously going to troll Goodreads now.  I'm wrong right?  I MUST BE WRONG.  I mean it's narrated by an older Ava, right? RIGHT?

END SPOILERS

TL;DR

If you like magical realism, you NEED to read this.  If you love beautiful prose, you need to read this.  If you love character development (and some seriously odd characters) read this.  If you need action packed plots, this probably isn't for you.

The Lies of Locke Lamora (Gentleman Bastards #1) - Scott Lynch

 

Summary

The Thorn of Camorr is said to be an unbeatable swordsman, a master thief, a friend to the poor, a ghost that walks through walls.

Slightly built and barely competent with a sword, Locke Lamora is, much to his annoyance, the fabled Thorn. And while Locke does indeed steal from the rich (who else would be worth stealing from?), the poor never see a penny. All of Locke's gains are strictly for himself and his tight-knit band of thieves. The Gentleman Bastards.

The capricious, colourful underworld of the ancient city of Camorr is the only home they have ever known. But now a clandestine war is threatening to tear it apart. Caught up in a murderous game, Locke and his friends are suddenly struggling just to stay alive...

Thoughts

Oh Scott Lynch you know exactly how to hook me in:

1.  Give little snippets of some BIG THING
2.  Jump to a different part of the story line that is connected in a way that doesn't seem obvious for a long time
3.  Jump back and forth between story lines, amping up suspense about BIG THING
4.  Reveal the BIG THING, but at this point you're already hooked on what's going to happen in the other story line, so no matter what the big thing is, if you might otherwise think it's not a big deal (it always is, but some people aren't as easily as impressed as I am)

This jumping between story lines might not work for anyone, and my bet that's probably going to be a complaint for a lot of people, but I don't feel like looking up bad reviews of a book I really enjoyed, so someone else will have to verify that.  I will say that the time lines aren't as perfectly streamlined as they are in the third book, which is no surprise since this is his debut and by the third book obviously he's grown as an author.

I will say I don't get his descriptions, usually of people's colouring.  What exactly is the skin color equivalent of shadowed honey?  And if you describe someone as very blonde...in the next sentence calling her hair color amber is a bit confusing.  Am I just confused about what color amber is?  Because I was pretty sure it was kind of a dark honey color...sort of brownish orangeish yellowish.  Which doesn't sound very blonde to me.  But maybe this in the context of the characters who all seem to be various shades of dark?

Things happened in this book that I had NO idea were going to happen so soon based on what I know of in the third book, and now I have zero clues what the @#$ is going to happen from here on out.  Like seriously.  I have zero clues what happens from the second half of this book through the second book, because everything I knew about already happened.  Also there was a death I was pretty shocked by because I am 90% sure I didn't know about it judging by the third book.  HOW AM I GOING TO SURVIVE THIS??

Other things 

- There is a drink described in here that I WANT to be real.  I want to try this drink because it sounds like the most amazing thing I've ever heard of, and sadly I gave the book away before writing down the description.  But I'm pretty sure if you've read this book, you'll know what drink in there I'm talking about.  Is there a real life version of that? ...must search...Oh Google, how I love you.  Yeah read this.  Tell me you don't want this.
 - The description of Locke as Vene whatever is totally swashbuckling and rogueish...and you KNOW I love my rogues.  I don't care that Locke is supposed to be supremely average looking...in this outfit?  I know he's a sexy beast.

TL;DR

Read it.  JUST DO IT.

Daughter of Smoke and Bone (Daughter of Smoke and Bone #1) - Laini Taylor

Summary

Goodreads:  Around the world, black handprints are appearing on doorways, scorched there by winged strangers who have crept through a slit in the sky.

In a dark and dusty shop, a devil’s supply of human teeth grown dangerously low.

And in the tangled lanes of Prague, a young art student is about to be caught up in a brutal otherwordly war.

Meet Karou. She fills her sketchbooks with monsters that may or may not be real, she’s prone to disappearing on mysterious "errands", she speaks many languages - not all of them human - and her bright blue hair actually grows out of her head that color. Who is she? That is the question that haunts her, and she’s about to find out.

When beautiful, haunted Akiva fixes fiery eyes on her in an alley in Marrakesh, the result is blood and starlight, secrets unveiled, and a star-crossed love whose roots drink deep of a violent past. But will Karou live to regret learning the truth about herself?


Quotes:

“I don't know many rules to live by,' he'd said. 'But here's one. It's simple. Don't put anything unnecessary into yourself. No poisons or chemicals, no fumes or smoke or alcohol, no sharp objects, no inessential needles--drug or tattoo--and...no inessential penises either.'

'Inessential penises?' Karou had repeated, delighted with the phrase in spite of her grief. 'Is there any such thing as an essential one?'

'When an essential one comes along, you'll know,' he'd replied.” 


Thoughts

Guys.  Guys.  GUYS.  THIS BOOK!!!

I mean, I know I'd heard great things about it.  But...WOW.  I mean if there is an emotion in the human spectrum of emotions, this book takes you there.

But even more than the feels...oh my god.  I don't know how Laini Taylor does it, but I would read a book on sea cucumbers if she wrote it.  There's just something so evocative and exquisite and....it's almost impossible to describe how amazing her prose is.  And we all know that if there is anything that will make me forgive any flaws it's prose.  (Or well...almost anything.  After Bellman & Black, I now know that authors with the most gorgeous prose in the world are not invincible).  There were times I didn't trust you, Laini Taylor, particularly with the instalove...but I never should have doubted.  Each time I doubted, I was proved wrong.

And that ending???  Oh Laini Taylor you brilliant, brilliant woman.  All the clues were there.  They were basically shouting to be discovered.  And oh the heart break.  I should have known!  I never saw that coming in a million years.  I usually have a vague inkling of things that are about to happen in a book - I imagine most of us who are big readers tend to at least have a few vague theories, and one of those theories is generally right.  But complete 100% unprepared shock?  Very rare.  And the best part is...ALL THE CLUES WERE THERE.  I felt so betrayed by my mind (And also my heart because I'm pretty sure it stopped for a second), because I should have had a clue.  In fact...it's entirely probably I was just being an idiot and most of you who have read this book did have a clue.

Other things I love?  Zusanna.  Ahhhh girl friendships are the best.  This one made me so, so happy.  It's a bit like Kami/Angela's friendship or Anya/Scarlet's friendship in that they really are kind of codependent on each other.  It's not unbalanced and Zusanna doesn't fade into the background - she's WAY too awesome for us to forget!  Where Karou brings mystery and magic into Zusanna's life, Zusanna tethers Karou somewhere so that she's not aimlessly drifting about the world.


TL;DR

Read this.  Please for the love of god, if you like fantasy...if you even think you might like fantasy, read this.  Don't be put off with distaste of "angel" stories, because trust me, it's not structured how you think it is.  I regret putting this series off so late (well only a little, because now I only have to wait until April for the third book to come out!), and as I've mentioned...3rd book is coming out in April! You have no excuse.  The whole series will soon be available at your bidding.

Jessie's Song - Eleni Papanou

Summary

Goodreads:  A kidnapping. A 24 hour deadline. A shocking ransom demand.

Markos Adams is famous, but not for his flashy guitar chops, leading man good looks or homemade baklava. After a heavily publicized suicide attempt, he tries to get his life and mind back in order. The morning after his return to the stage, Markos's worst nightmare is realized when his daughter, Jessie, is abducted. The kidnapper contacts him with the terms of the ransom: Markos must identify who he is in twenty-four hours. If he fails, he must commit suicide. Markos races against the clock to unmask the kidnapper and starts to question his sanity when he experiences visions of Jessie singing to him. Is Markos slowly descending into madness, or is he the victim of a sadistic criminal act that will force him to face his biggest fear...that he'll die before seeing his precious daughter again. 

Jessie's Song is a gripping suspense novel that shows how far a father will go to save his only child and how love and forgiveness are the key to saving Jessie…and himself. 

This book falls under the genre of visionary fiction and was written for the reader who appreciates books with a spiritually uplifting theme, minus the dogma. 


Thoughts

I am so mixed up on this book!  For me the real interest in the book picked up in Part III of the book (I think it was divided into parts?  I might be making that up.  Needless to say, I am referencing the last third).  I think most people will probably be really into the first 2/3rds and the ending might really throw them for a loop, so I will say that I think what I liked about this book will be coming from a minority opinion.

Have any of you watched The Waking Life?  It's one of the most thought provoking films I've ever watched, dealing with the meaning of dreams, lucid dreaming, mortality, what reality is...it's basically a lot of really interestingly done philosophy.  It's kind of hard to categorize the movie as it's kind of documentaryish, but it's kind of a narrative, and it's cartoon but definitely not for kids what with the philosophy aspect.  In any case, the book reminded me a lot of The Waking Life with many of the theories that passes through it, particularly the last third.  It's no coincidence that the last third reminds me of The Waking Life and that the last third was my favourite part of the book.  So if you are into philosophy dealing with any of the things listed above and particularly Eastern philosophy, I think this book is worth reading...and worth wading through the first 2/3rds if you're not loving them.

This isn't at all to say that I disliked the first part of the book...my interest just wasn't held consistently.  There are multiple story lines going on simultaneously, similar to the way Scott Lynch in his Gentleman Bastards.  I love this way of story telling, but it only works if you are invested in all the story lines.  Unfortunately, I found one story line dramatically more interesting than the others, so I just got frustrated when I had to wait to come back to it and started skimming the other two.  I think part of it was my inability to connect with the characters.  None of them are particularly likeable, which isn't that big of a problem for me, but if a character isn't likeable, I have to be able to relate to them in some way.  Honestly, I couldn't and I don't think this is a problem with the author's writing.  I'm simply in a different place than the main characters and haven't experienced any of their problems.  And I think at times the characters felt inconsistent or...something.  I'm not entirely sure?  The dialogue felt really awkward to me, and any time the characters spoke to each other it just felt kind of childish in a way.  But mostly, I think I'm just not in the right place to really appreciate who the characters are.  But on the flip side - so much diversity!!  I'm pretty sure there weren't any white characters, although I could be wrong on that one.  The main character was Greek, which I don't think I've ever experienced, and I loved that!

The mystery itself was engaging at first, but it petered out pretty quickly...I think part of this was the involvement with the other story lines.  In general, my biggest complaint is a complaint I have with a lot of adult novels...they just seem dreary.  Dragged on, saddish, but not tragic enough for tears.  Which is purely an interest problem on my end.  But as soon as that happened (or fairly soon after), we hit that end section of the book and I instantly gained interest again.  Unfortunately this review is coming off as a bit uneven, with more on the negative side, which is not at all how I feel.  Or only sort of how I feel, if we're being honest.  Sadly, I really, really can't go into the last section of the book because it will ruin everything.  Just trust me.  Like philosophy dealing with life/reality/dreams/eastern philosophers?  Read this book.

Let me end with my favourite part of the book - the music.  Music is integral to the book, and as a musician I'm obviously going to be really picky about how this is portrayed.  I will give the disclaimer that the focus on this book is jazz, which is an entirely different ball park from classical, but I'm not 100% ignorant of jazz, and somethings are true across all fields of music.  The verdict?  Eleni Papanou nails it.  She's clearly very familiar with jazz, referencing all sorts of musicians and particular pieces that I don't think detract from the book by not knowing them (I didn't know most of the songs), but I feel probably really make the book for a jazz lover.  The way she talks about the music and the musicians make it clear she's either spent a lot of time with musicians and in jazz clubs, or she was one herself at some point.  I'm always so excited when I feel music is portrayed realistically (or as realistically as can be expected in a novel, as one must always keep it interesting, and honestly practicing is the opposite of interesting to the layperson).  Even better?  At the top of each chapter it starts with a music quote!  So instead of a snippet of a poem or a quote, it begins with a few bars of music notated with lyrics.  Sadly, on the Kindle you can't really see the music so I couldn't make it out well enough to hear it in my head *grumble grumble effing kindles*, but I loved the concept!  The end of the book has all the pieces in their entirety...I meant to see if any of them were original songs or not...but well...I forgot and a very quick google search didn't answer my question.  BUT I can confirm that Papanou is very involved with jazz music, so there you are.


TL;DR

Like jazz music?  Like dream/reality/mortality/eastern philosophy?  Definitely check this out.  Want to work on reading books with more diversity?  This is chock full of it.  Not into any of those things?  This book may not be for you.

Allegiant (Divergent #3) - Veronica Roth

 

Summary

Goodreads:  The faction-based society that Tris Prior once believed in is shattered—fractured by violence and power struggles and scarred by loss and betrayal. So when offered a chance to explore the world past the limits she’s known, Tris is ready. Perhaps beyond the fence, she and Tobias will find a simple new life together, free from complicated lies, tangled loyalties, and painful memories.

But Tris’s new reality is even more alarming than the one she left behind. Old discoveries are quickly rendered meaningless. Explosive new truths change the hearts of those she loves. And once again, Tris must battle to comprehend the complexities of human nature—and of herself—while facing impossible choices about courage, allegiance, sacrifice, and love.

Told from a riveting dual perspective, Allegiant, by #1 New York Times best-selling author Veronica Roth, brings the Divergent series to a powerful conclusion while revealing the secrets of the dystopian world that has captivated millions of readers in Divergent and Insurgent.


Thoughts

I am actually not a huge fan of the trilogy (I can hear my cousin shouting in dismay from across the country).  This isn't to say I disliked the books, just that I don't connect to them the way other people seem to.   I think this is a thing that has to do with first person, and overall the writing style didn't work for me.  In general I don't do well with first person because I find it very limiting and there are a lot of things that come off clumsily when trying to point out other people's motivations.  This isn't to say it can't be done, just that it has to be done really well or it doesn't work.  I didn't make a note of it, so this might not have been specifically the problem I had with the writing style, but I very, very rarely like first person books.  I will say that in this book I had a REALLY hard time with the alternating POV's which is something I usually do ok with.  I found Tris and Tobias's voices hard to distinguish, and I'd only remember each chapter was a different POV when I was a couple pages into each chapter and realized things weren't making sense, which kept jolting me out of the story line.

Despite everything negative I've been saying so far, it really is a fun, action packed read.  It was also a lot of fun for me because I realized early on that is was set in Chicago, so it was great discovering all these places I see regularly (or in the spring when I stop hibernating inside of my apartment).  I've discovered that I actually really enjoy reading/seeing places I recognize.  And since I've moved here I've discovered there are a TON of books that are set here!  But of course that doesn't really mean much to the rest of you as I assume the majority of you couldn't possibly live here, and therefore could care less that the trains the Dauntless ride are the El.

I have to say I actually quite liked the ending.  I knew there were pretty much only 3 options as to what it could be since there's only one thing that could make people so upset, so perhaps it helped that I had warning and it wasn't a sudden discovery.  Again, the execution didn't necessarily work for me, but it did feel like this was where the trilogy as a whole was building to.  I'm also a masochist, so the more a book hurts me, generally the more I like the book.  Because I am a crazy person haha



Overall

This trilogy wasn't my cup of tea, but I can certainly see why other people loved it.  I just didn't connect to the writing style and the characters in the way I needed to.  I don't regret reading the series, it was definitely a fun time, so if you like the dystopia/post-apocalyptic genre and haven't read this series yet, I would definitely recommend it.

The Book Thief - Markus Zusak

 

 Summary

Goodreads:  It is 1939. Nazi Germany. The country is holding its breath. Death has never been busier, and will become busier still.

Liesel Meminger is a foster girl living outside of Munich, who scratches out a meager existence for herself by stealing when she encounters something she can’t resist–books. With the help of her accordion-playing foster father, she learns to read and shares her stolen books with her neighbors during bombing raids as well as with the Jewish man hidden in her basement.

In superbly crafted writing that burns with intensity, award-winning author Markus Zusak, author of I Am the Messenger, has given us one of the most enduring stories of our time.


Thoughts

 Let me start with this:  This was a truly memorable book, and I am glad I read it.  Now remember that I have said this as you read through the rest of this post.

So.  I finally read this.  It took me 5 years to work up the courage to do it, and I'm glad I did.  Even if I will never read this again.  I am not going to review this book.  There are so many great reviews out already, and honestly I just don't want to revisit the details of this book.  I am going to talk about how it made me feel.  Guys, this book destroyed me.  I honestly can't think of a book that made my soul hurt more at the end of the book, and that includes The Amber Spyglass, The Bridge to Terabithia, and The Island of the Blue Dolphins combined.  I don't think I knew how invested I was in the characters until...well things happened.  You know at the beginning who is going to die, so it isn't even a surprise!  I seriously ugly cried through the last quarter of this book.  I literally had to put the book down because I was crying so hard I couldn't read.  It wrecked me.  And I still can't tell you why this hit me so hard (I mean it surpassed my epic crying in the last Harry Potter book!  And I had a connection with those characters for years! I could still read the end of the book after the last battle, if barely)

So yes, this book is phenomenal, and I'm glad I read it, even if it hurts to think about.  But what I don't understand...people do this to themselves YEARLY!  They reread this book every. single. year.  How do you survive that?!?  I read this book and immediately went into hermit mode and didn't want to talk to anyone about it at all!  I had been looking forward to watching the movie, but even Geoffrey Rush won't get me to see this, because why would you want to relive this??

Would I recommend this to everyone?  No.  Should everyone read this?  Probably.  But you know what?  Some people don't like reading books that hurt, and I wouldn't inflict this book on anyone who wasn't prepared to be devastated. 

The Color Master - Aimee Bender

 

Summary

Goodreads:  The bestselling author of "The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake" returns with a wondrous collection of dreamy, strange, and magical stories. 

Truly beloved by readers and critics alike, Aimee Bender has become known as something of an enchantress whose lush prose is "moving, fanciful, and gorgeously strange" ("People"), "richly imagined and bittersweet" ("Vanity Fair"), and "full of provocative ideas" ("The Boston Globe"). In her deft hands, "relationships and mundane activities take on mythic qualities" ("The Wall Street Journal"). 

In this collection, Bender's unique talents sparkle brilliantly in stories about people searching for connection through love, sex, and family--while navigating the often painful realities of their lives. A traumatic event unfolds when a girl with flowing hair of golden wheat appears in an apple orchard, where a group of people await her. A woman plays out a prostitution fantasy with her husband and finds she cannot go back to her old sex life. An ugly woman marries an ogre and struggles to decide if she should stay with him after he mistakenly eats their children. Two sisters travel deep into Malaysia, where one learns the art of mending tigers who have been ripped to shreds. 

In these deeply resonant stories--evocative, funny, beautiful, and sad--we see ourselves reflected as if in a funhouse mirror. Aimee Bender has once again proven herself to be among the most imaginative, exciting, and intelligent writers of our time.

Notable quote:   

"He could feel it, just feel it, the glimmer of something that he did not understand. But he would never call it God. He would not call it prayer. But just beyond his sandwich, and the four TV shows he watched back to back, and his teeth brushing, and his face washing, and his nighttime reading of a magazine, and his light switching off, just the faint realization that there were many ways to live a life and that some people were living a life that was very different than his, and the way they lived was beyond him and also didn't interest him and yet he could sense it. Comfort and fear rose together inside him. Like standing in the middle of a meadow, where no one had his back." 

"The Doctor and the Rabbi" (probably my second favourite story in the lot after "The Devourings")


Thoughts

It's always hard for me to think of a way to review short stories (which is why I haven't so far), but I thought now would be as good as a time as any to start trying.  The Color Master is divided into three parts that all seem to be centered around a sort of theme.

  The very first story in the entire book titled "Appless" featured from what I can tell *spoilers* a gang rape.*spoilers*   I thought it was offensive, unnecessary, and it made it hard for me to have much patience for the other stories in Part I, which featured women who explore power/equality/other things like that with their sexuality.  I thought most of them were interesting, but none really stood out and captured me the way I had been expecting them to. 

Fortunately, Aimee Bender worked her magic and there were plenty of other stories to enjoy!  I thought "Bad Return" which featured a college student who wanders into a stranger's home pretty enjoyable, and "Origin Class" was thought provoking in a different way than many of Bender's other stories were.  "Wordkeepers" was more realistic than her usual works (no hint of magic realism or even just strange things).  In fact it describes me in pretty much every conversation.  What does it mean for us that we can't remember words?  That we're constantly replacing names with "stuff" or "thingie"?  It wasn't something I'd thought of before, but it struck a chord with me.  Because it is a new thing that we're forgetting words, and it affects all generations.  It might come off as a bit pedantic to some, but I enjoyed the questions it posed.

As someone who is madly in love with faerie tale retellings, I obviously loved "The Color Master" - a retelling of Donkeyskin which is one of my all time favourite fairy tales, as well as "The Devourings".  "The Devourings" is the very last story in the book and it follows the perspective of the troll's wife (or giant if you're thinking Jack in the Beanstalk) whose husband accidentally eats his own children.  It follows her past her death and the death of all civilization when all that is left is a magical self-replenishing cake.  If I hated the opening to this collection of stories, "The Devourings" couldn't have been a more perfect ending to it.  Easily my favourite short story of the lot, the writing is just magical in a way I've come to love and appreciate from Aimee Bender.  Even when I don't necessarily understand everything at play, there's this feeling of rightness to a lot of her writing.

If you're looking for a little more background on the individual stories, this review does a really great job of giving a brief summary of each story and how the reviewer felt about them.  I don't necessarily agree with all the ratings, but I've spotlighted the stories that I enjoyed the most here.


Overall

The collection was a bit of a mixed bag.  Part I didn't do much for me, whereas I enjoyed almost all the stories in Part II  and III immensely, and "The Devourings" is one now one of my favourite short stories of all time.  I definitely recommend looking into this if you are a fan of Aimee Bender at all (or even Neil Gaiman - there's some resemblances there even if I can't articulate exactly what they are) or enjoy short stories.  This isn't usually my scene as I rarely read short story collections, but I don't regret it for a minute.  Aimee Bender's stories are always refreshing and often take a turn for the completely unexpected.



Bechdel Test

I was silly enough to return this to the library without marking any quotes at all which is a shame.  It's no surprise to me that Aimee Bender's work passes the Bechdel Test with flying colors.  Off the top of my head, I can think of at least two of the short stories that pass the test - Lemonade and Tiger Mending - simply because they only have women in the stories.  Other works like Americca, The Color Master, Bad Return, and The Red Ribbon pass the test in some form or another (I think, I can't guarantee as I don't have the book to check against).  It's amazing that in a book full of short stories, about half pass the test, whereas most full length novels can't manage it.  Something to ponder over...

Republic of Thieves (Gentleman Bastards #3) - Scott Lynch

I received this in exchange for an honest review.

Summary

Goodreads:  With what should have been the greatest heist of their career gone spectacularly sour, Locke and his trusted partner, Jean, have barely escaped with their lives. Or at least Jean has. But Locke is slowly succumbing to a deadly poison that no alchemist or physiker can cure. Yet just as the end is near, a mysterious Bondsmage offers Locke an opportunity that will either save him or finish him off once and for all.

Magi political elections are imminent, and the factions are in need of a pawn. If Locke agrees to play the role, sorcery will be used to purge the venom from his body - though the process will be so excruciating he may well wish for death. Locke is opposed, but two factors cause his will to crumble: Jean's imploring - and the Bondsmage's mention of a woman from Locke's past: Sabetha. She is the love of his life, his equal in skill and wit, and now, his greatest rival.

Locke was smitten with Sabetha from his first glimpse of her as a young fellow orphan and thief-in-training. But after a tumultuous courtship, Sabetha broke away. Now they will reunite in yet another clash of wills. For faced with his one and only match in both love and trickery, Locke must choose whether to fight Sabetha - or to woo her. It is a decision on which both their lives may depend.


Thoughts

 OH MY GOD.  HOW COULD I HAVE DONE THIS TO MYSELF?!?!?!



#^O#$%^&*U(*&^%$#@

So, I'm about 2/3 of the way through Republic of Thieves.  GUESS WHAT I JUST REALIZED.  It's the third book in the series!! I HAVEN'T READ THE FIRST TWO.   Seriously.  I am amazed at my idiocy sometimes.  I mean, kudos to the author for not making it necessary (although it does explain all my "man I wish I got more detail on these things they keep referencing instead of just saying that it happened" moments.  WELL NO WONDER.  They're probably explained in the first two freaking books!)  I really hope I haven't permanently ruined anything for myself in the first two books, although obviously there are clearly some spoilers issues.  That being said...at least I still think this book is awesome?  But seriously.  How did I forget that?  What was my plan?  I don't request sequels in a series if I haven't read the original book first.  Was I planning on reading the first two books and just forgot?  I have been looking forward to starting this series FOREVER.  In any case, I am an idiot. And since I'm already 2/3 of the way through the damned book, I'll just finish reading it and THEN go back and read the first two. 

And now that I have finished my regrettable mistake, on to the real review!


Oh the trickery!  So clever!  Part of the reason I've been looking forward to this series is:

1.  I love my rogues!  I mean George Cooper anyone?  Not to mention of course Han Solo, or Aladdin, or...my list could go on.  If you're a rogue in a story I'm guaranteed to love you.
2.  I love clever twists and tricks!  And this book is CHOCK FULL of them!  Seriously they are THE BEST. 

The dual storylines were awesome.  I think they are a big part of the reason I didn't notice I was reading the third book.  They were artfully done and it was like reading two books at the same time (in a good way).  The past didn't impact the future event-wise, it was more like a revealing of character development, which I liked very much.  So to sum up, everything about this book is amazing:  fantastic character development - even from coming to this book 2 books late, lots of action and adventure, clever twists and turns, witty dialogue.  IT HAS IT ALL.  Now onto what I really want to talk about.

Ummm can I have Locke Lamora in my life?  I mean...this.  *swoons*

"These are my cards on the table.  I think you're beautiful.  I feel like I'm an idiot with dirt on his face sitting next to someone out of a painting.  I think... I think I'm just plain stupid for you.  I know that's not exactly sweet talk out of a play.  Frankly, I'd kiss your shadow.  I'd kiss dirt that had your heel print in it.  I like feeling this way.  I don't give a damn what you or anyone else thinks... this is how it feels every time I look at you."

"And I admire you," he said praying that he could blurt everything out before she interrupted him. This desperate eloquence was like an out-of-control carriage, and if it smashed to a halt it might not move again.  "I admire everything about.  Even your temper, and your moods, and the way you take gods-damned offense when I breathe wrong around you.  I'd rather be confused about you than stone-fucking-certain about anyone else, got it?  I admire the way you're good at everything you do, even when it makes me feel small enough to drown myself in this wine cup."

"Locke - "

"I'm not done."  He held up the cup he'd used to illustrate his previous point and gulped its contents straightaway.  "The last thing.  The most important thing...it's this.  I'm sorry."

And it goes on.  It's like five pages on my cell phone so I'm not sure how long it actually is but...usually really long love confession scenes annoy me...but Locke...oh Locke!  Especially knowing everything I do about their relationship (And I bet it would have been EVEN MORE AWESOME if I actually DID know even more about their relationship.  But whatever.  I need to stop complaining).  I mean, talk about slow burn romance!!!  You know how I say that slow burn romance is the best and every book should have it?  I TAKE IT ALL BACK.  They need to be together.  BE TOGETHER RIGHT NOW LOCKE AND SABETHA. NOW. I DEMAND IT.

So really I'm lying.  I LOVE THIS ROMANCE.

The only problem I had with the book honestly was Sabetha, and it is only to a small extent since really this book was about so much more (but I'm fixated.  I need this to happen!)  I DON'T GET THIS GIRL.  Why is she so freaking touchy??  I imagine there is some past that has been hinted at in the previous books that we don't know yet?  It seemed deliberately mysterious.  But I could be wrong, and it might be crystal clear to everyone else.  And I imagine I would have a much better handle on her if I had read the first two books I know I said I wasn't going to bring that up again but really! And the red hair (which I'm guessing is the background to her touchiness and maybe to her past before the Shadow's Den?  She seemed touchy about her past before then as well) explanation was...woah.  Didn't see that coming.  That was...relatively graphic.  And tragically enough, I wouldn't be surprised if that was something that happened in our history.  Or if it to some extent still happened.  After all, we live in a world where females are still circumcised in some cultures.  But on to less depressing matters.

Oh my god.  Locke's mystery...I NEED TO KNOW NOW.  THERE IS SO MUCH I NEED TO KNOW!!!  So basically I'm dying for the next book.  And the first two books.

Overall

So basically this series is the best thing ever.  I am going to get the first two books asap, and THEN I'm going to reread this book because duh that's how this should have happened in the first place!!  I might even re-review this or take a quick look at how my feelings have changed after reading the first two books...in any case....GO READ THIS BOOK!  (Or series if you haven't started it, because lets be real if you started this series you were probably hitting people with baseball bats to get your own copy)