The Summer I Turned Pretty - Jenny Han

Summary

 Goodreads:  Belly measures her life in summers. Everything good, everything magical happens between the months of June and August. Winters are simply a time to count the weeks until the next summer, a place away from the beach house, away from Susannah, and most importantly, away from Jeremiah and Conrad. They are the boys that Belly has known since her very first summer--they have been her brother figures, her crushes, and everything in between. But one summer, one terrible and wonderful summer, the more everything changes, the more it all ends up just the way it should have been all along.


Thoughts

Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god!

Ok here's the thing.  I 100% expected to strongly dislike this, but I keep seeing it places so I thought I'd give it a try.  I mean the cover tells me I should expect a love triangle and stupid boy stuff, as does the back cover description (also what exactly is everything in between brother figure and crush if I might ask?).  And I can't say that doesn't happen, but the love triangle stuff isn't really a main or strong point of the book.  And I expected to hate Conrad because he's the stupid broody boy the main character likes for absolutely no reason.  And I just...agghhh I was so shocked!

I liked this WAY MORE THAN I EXPECTED TO.  I am still having difficulty coming to terms with it.  It should be everything I don't like in YA fiction, but it's just...it's so much like how you feel when you are 16!  Everything feels confusing and complicated (and you always want the boy you can't get).  You also hit a stage where suddenly everyone finds you attractive and it feels strange and  you never really trust that this isn't some trick someone is pulling.  Or at least that was how it was for me when I turned 15, and my experience with boys before and after was very much like Belly's experience (except the boys weren't family friends).

Everything I expected to hate was still there, but it was somehow forgivable because of HOW it was written.  There's just something perfect about the way Han writes the story.  It really was like I was transported back to to the summer I turned pretty (See what I did there.  Eh? Ehhhhh?).  It's the interest in boys all of a sudden, the body image issues, and everything seems like such a big deal all the time!  It was so much more about growing up than it was about romance, and I don't know how to explain that because so much of the book was romance.  So I'm going to give up on that and you're just going to have to trust me on it.

There were things I didn't want to like about this book - for example girl friendships.  I hate that the majority of books I read are about frenemies.  In fact the only books that come to mind about girls with AWESOME friendships are Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and Finding Cassie Crazy (aka The Year of Secret Assignments).  I get that girl relationships are weird and complicated and there's usually some sort of feeling of inadequacy and it's a delicate balance.  Han nailed that.  I just wish there was more showing the good part of that relationship too.  And we catch glimpses of it, but as with other YA contemporary books, it's more bad than good.  Part of it is that Belly's relationship with her bff Taylor isn't like her mother's relationship with Susannah.  And I so wish I had a best friend like that, closer than a sister even.  I have AWESOME best friends, but it's not like that.

I also think that Belly can be a very hard character to like at times.  She can be an annoying tattle tale and has a tendency to whine, but I appreciate that she is a flawed character, with plenty to like as well.  It's incredible how easily I related to her though.  I know exactly what it feels like to be with family friends (or really any number of groups of people) and be the only girl  or the only one my age, and you feel so left out.  It makes you feel like you have to compete for attention and you always feel unsettled and excluded.  And it makes you feel jealous and angry and you hate that you feel that way...that's what I'm talking about.  Han just really, really gets it.  And I think it is really hard to write slice of life YA where it doesn't get overly dramatic (also instalove.  It needs to stop), but still captures the...bigness of how everything fels.  The insecurity about how to measure up to others - intelligence, looks, how sexually experienced you are - whether you've gone too far or not far enough.  I think that the way Han deals with this lets me forgive her for the love triangle.  Because there's also BIG life issues in the book (and I will not tell you about them because it will spoil a lot of things).  And somehow Belly's interest in the angsty Conrad is also forgivable.  I mean I could see it as instalove, except that you are given snippets throughout her life.  And he's not often nice, but I've also been there.  I think part of the reason I forgive it is that she's known him her entire life.  (Speaking of the snippets, I was really confused for the first 250 pages because all of a sudden it'd be a completely different time.  Turns out it says what age she was right under the chapter header and it took me 3/4 of the book to figure this out (idiot).  So when you do read this, and you should, read that part too or you'll be confused like me).

And the ending - OH MY GOD I was totally not expecting that! Oh the feels!! And whatever you think it is I am talking about, trust me you are so, so wrong.

 I feel like this review isn't giving a great impression of the book (or rather it's just that I'm completely incoherent).  It really does have everything I hate in a book, but I LOVED IT - it is just done in all the right ways.  It's not even that it was a fun fluffy read.  It wasn't at all, it was angsty and distressing - but just enough so that you wanted to keep reading.  Ugh I just can't stop raving about just how SHOCKED I was about the whole book, but especially the ending and how perfectly the story was captured.  I kinda wish it stopped there, but it's a series.  Which I am expecting to hate.  Even though I was taken aback by this book...I don't trust to like this for more than this one book.  I will say that I'm not sure if I'm giving it better than chocolate pudding rating because I loved it so much or because I was shocked so much (but be reassured that it would get an almost as good as chocolate pudding rating at the very least even if I wasn't so shocked)

Overall

My feelings directly after reading this?  Check my comment on Mad but Magic's blog (which you should totally read btw, their blog is AWESOME).

Words clearly don't exist to explain my emotions on reading this book.  So I will leave you with this:

A to Z Survey

I've been seeing this survey making its rounds around the blogosphere and it looked like fun, so that's what I'm doing this week instead of a Friday Five!

Sponsored by Perpetual Page-Turner

 

Author you’ve read the most books from:

 Oh my goodness...Enid Blyton wins with 58 books hahahah

But if we're looking at most read books with an author that is individual books and not because I read a series by the author, Roald Dahl and Alice Hoffman are tied at 13.

Best Sequel Ever:

I honestly could pick so many, but Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials has been on the mind lately.  The Amber Spyglass is one of the best endings to a series I've ever read.  Actually, it might just be THE best ending.

Currently Reading:

Er..I literally just finished The Crimson Crown which I really enjoyed.  So I guess I'm still in the middle of Mansfield Park?  And I need to review The Magic Warble, so I'll probably start reading that next.

Drink of Choice While Reading:

Usually what I have around? So coffee or tea?  I tend to get too absorbed into the book to remember to eat or drink haha

E-reader or Physical Book?

I'd love to say physical book all the way, but e-readers are pretty nifty too.

Fictional Character You Probably Would Have Actually Dated In High School:

I was sitting here racking my brains out, and then it hit me.  Who have I EVER loved as much as Darcy?  He may have been a bit old for me, but I have had many a daydream about tall, dark, and handsome men like Darcy. 

You are a beautiful, beautiful man Matthew Macfadyen.

Glad You Gave This Book A Chance:

Kushiel's Dart by Jacqueline Carey.  I never would have picked this book up just by reading the back cover, and I am SO glad I did (and I am still clueless as to how it came to my possession).

Hidden Gem Book:

I'm going to say books that you've heard me mention a billion times by now.  Some of my favourite books really don't have a big following and they absolutely deserve one, so these are my top choices:

Abarat by Clive Barker
The Nature of Jade by Deb Caletti
Finding Cassie Crazy by Jaclyn Moriarty

I have made a promise to myself to review these books for you guys so I can explain to you WHY you should read them, not just that you should!

Important Moment in your Reading Life:

When I decided reading the Bob books was more exciting than coloring them.  Closely followed by when I read The Trumpeter of Krakow or The Wheel on the School as one of them was my very first chapter book!  (and the other was my second, but I can't remember which one.  I'm leaning towards The Wheel on the School coming first though)

Just Finished:

Oops looks like I already answered this...but I just read the whole Seven Realms series...in two days...I just couldn't put them down!

Kinds of Books You Won't Read:

If I know they are going to be really depressing, it'll will literally take me years to belt up and read it.  I will likely never read Grapes of Wrath.  I also don't handle really scary things...I couldn't sleep at all after I read Misery.  And I thought I could handle scary things...it's just a book, right?  Wrong.  So, so wrong. 

Longest Book You've Read:

Well this is a surprise!  Apparently it's Jacqueline Carey's Kushiel's Dart which I find unlikely.  It is 1015 pages though.

Just kidding, I looked up Count of MonteCristo which is 1276 pages, so I'm not sure why that isn't showing up at the top of my goodreads page count? 

Major book hangover because of:

 I had to look up what this is....I'd have to say Skip Beat! because I raged for 3 days when I discovered the series wasn't finished UNLIKE WHAT MY FRIEND TOLD ME.  I never would have read it if I'd known that, but then I would never have read Skip Beat, so that would have been upsetting too.

Number of Bookcases You Own:

Before I moved we had bookshelves against ever wall and in every room (even the bathrooms.  My friends thought my family was a bunch of lunatics haha).  I now only have 4 measly bookshelves :(

One Book You Have Read Multiple Times:

Oh there are so many of these!  I can't possibly pick one.  I brought the books I HAD to have to survive with me when I moved, so the Abarat series, His Dark Materials, the Abhorsen trilogy, all of Tamora Pierce's Quartets (except the Circle of Magic ones, I haven't read those yet), Susan Cooper's The Dark is Rising series, A Wrinkle in Time Quartet, A Ring of Endless Light and Pride and Prejudice, Finding Cassie Crazy, all of which are falling apart I've read them so many times, Harry Potter...I should stop now...

Preferred Place To Read:

These days I like to go out to the square and read on a bench, but really I read anywhere.  Correction, it's more like I read everywhere haha.

Quote that inspires you/gives you all the feels from a book you've read:

"Believe me when I say:  There are two forces that command the soul.  One is God.  The other is the tide." - Clive Barker's  Abarat.  I'm not religious in the normal sense, but the quote really speaks to me, especially the bit about the tide.

"Nature is never static, I understand. Change is ever-constant, clouds zipping across a sky. It is dynamic, complicated, tangled, mostly beautiful. A moving forward, something newly gained, means that something is lost, too." - Deb Caletti's The Nature of Jade.  Writing like this is why you should read Deb Caletti.

Reading Regret:

I'm not entirely sure I have one?  Maybe not really discovering book bloggers until this year (I sort of half-heartedly started this blog in 2010, but I didn't really get into it until this year.)  I don't have a lot of friends who are nearly as into books as I am, or if they are, they don't like the same books (all my friends like nonfiction.  Seriously.  How is that even a thing?) So when I discovered there was a whole world out there of people like me who could talk for DAYS about books with me, I was pretty mind blown.  So it would have been nice if I'd discovered this sooner so I'd feel a little less lonely and geeky about things haha

Series You Started And Need To Finish(all books are out in series):

Bruce Coville's Unicorn Chronicles

Three of your All-Time Favorite Books:

See this picking only 3 is a real problem.  Let's go with books I haven't listed already...The Lords of Discipline (also known as any book ever written by Pat Conroy), Graceling by Kristin Cashore, and Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine.  Completely randomly off my goodreads favs, so there you are.

Unapologetic Fangirl For:

Uhh...off the top of my head, I'd guess the Redwall series.  I LOVED those books (at least the first 10 or so of them) and they're considered relatively geeky I'd guess.  Probably the thing I'm most ashamed/love is manga though.  I got into it my sophomore year of college, and it's not usually something I share with normal people.  Normal people being anyone not reading this blog right now haha. 

Very Excited For This Release More Than All The Others:

Soulbroken by Heather Brewer (it's coming out next week!!), Lair of Dreams by Libba Bray, In the Age of Love and Chocolate by Gabrielle Zevin, and MOST importantly, The Price of Dreams by Clive Barker

Worst Bookish Habit:

Uhhh.....reading a bunch of books and then not reviewing them like I meant to for this blog?

X Marks The Spot: Start at the top left of your shelf and pick the 27th book:

The Cellist of Sarajevo - Steven Galloway
The Masks of God:  Oriental Mythology - Joseph Campbell
The Luncheon of the Boating Party  - Susan Vreeland
Abarat - Clive Barker
....well this is an oddly not very representative list of what I read haha 

Your latest book purchase:

I don't really buy books anymore, I get most of them through bookmooch, friends, or a library.  But my latest mooch on Bookmooch is A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers

ZZZ-snatcher book (last book that kept you up WAY late):

Pretty much the entire Seven Realms series

If you'd like to participate, please make sure to let Jamie at Perpetual Page-Turner know, and give her credit for creating the survey. She'd like to see your answers, so be sure to link back to her page.

Top Ten Books Partially Set in Reality

 Hosted by The Broke and Bookish

This week's Top Ten Tuesday is our favourite books in "x" setting.  I chose to do books that are set in our world, but are also set in another world - whether it is a magical kingdom, another planet, or even a parallel universe.  I also didn't pick only 10 because....come on only ten?!?  I even tried to make my setting oddly specific so I could do it!  So as always, in no particular order, here goes!

 1.  Where the Wild Things Are - Maurice Sendak

Come on, wasn't this every kid's favourite book?  (Except Chicka Chicka Boom Boom of course)

Our setting:  Max's bedroom, assumed to be somewhere on Earth

Other world: Where the wild things are, duh!

  

2.  A Great and Terrible Beauty - Libba Bray

 

Oh man this series.  Can I just say that everything Libba Bray writes is amazing?

Our setting: India and England

Other world: I actually had to look this up.  Apparently it's just called "the realms" which isn't  a very exciting name.

3.  Elsewhere - Gabrielle Zevin

I completely fell in love with the whole concept of this book.  And all of Gabrielle Zevin's books are amazing as well.

Our setting:  Somewhere on Earth

Other world:  The afterlife

4.  Artemis Fowl - Eoin Colfer

I love that this series deals with fairies, but it's so technologically savvy and there's so many cool gadgets and yay science!

Our setting: Various places on Earth

Other world: Haven City, a fairy metropolis (and various other places throughout the series)

 

5. xxxHolic - CLAMP

Just look at that artwork.  I shouldn't even have to give an explanation.  But it holds a special place in my heart as one of the first animes I watched as well as one of the first mangas I read.  And it's SO GOOD, easily in my top 5 mangas.

Our setting:  Japan

Other world:  This is sort of cheating since it's mostly supernatural events within our world, but it does crossover with Tsubasa which is in another universe.

 

  

6. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams

If you have eyes and have seen my blog, clearly I'm a huge Hitchhiker's fan. 'Nuff said.

Our setting: Earth (for some reason I always thought it was in England, but I can't confirm that is true.  It doesn't seem to be specified at all)

Other world:  Clearly, the galaxy.  And also the universe.

7. The Dark Mirror - Juliet Marillier

I thought I'd put a different Marillier book up instead of using the same one over and over like a damned radio station.  This one is the first book in the Bridei Chronicles about the Pict king in the mid 6th century.

Ours setting: UK (where the Picts are, specifically)

Other world:  This deals with druids, so it's very connected to the fae and their gods.  You know the more I think about this the more I'm not actually sure they travel to the fairy land or have as many dealings as the Sevenwaters series.  Whatever.  I'm still picking this book, it's worthy!

 

8. A Wrinkle in Time - Madeline L'Engle

There is something so overwhelmingly right about L'Engle's writing.  She is one of a kind and you always get something new out of her writing.  I just reread A Ring of Endless Light so I'll blather on about my eternal love for Madeline L'Engle when I post my review on that.

Our setting: Somewhere on Earth.  Funny how I never pay attention to exactly where on Earth all these books are taking place

Other world:  Other planets, namely Camazotz

 

9. The Subtle Knife - Philip Pullman

This series completely blew my 12 year old mind apart.  I'm not sure I've had an experience quite like it since then.  And the ending of the last book..I'm not sure I'll ever recover from it.  This is the second book in the series as the first book doesn't meet the setting requirements

Our setting: Oxford - I'm assuming it's our Oxford, it seems very similar to our world anyway

Other world:  Various other parallel universes, including at some point Lyra's Oxford (might not be in this book I can't quite remember).  Most of this involves travel through the world of Ci'gazze.

 

10. Abarat - Clive Barker

HA!  As if I could make a list without Abarat.  In fact I'm pretty sure Abarat is why I chose this setting in the first place.  I've talked about it more than enough, just read the series!

Our setting: Chickentown, Minnesota (ok not ACTUALLY a real place, but it's in our world.  It counts!)

Other world: The islands of Abarat

 

11.  Through the Looking Glass (and what Alice found there) - Lewis Carroll

I've always loved both books, but for reasons I can't remember this one was always my favourite of the two.

Our setting: Earth..England?  I really need to pay attention more

Other world: Through the looking glass

12.  Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone - JK Rowling

It would be blasphemy to have this setting and not include Harry Potter.  Although the magical world is set inside of our own one, it is still very clearly set apart.  (Technically Artemis Fowl is set in our world but underground, so same rules apply)

Our setting:  England

Other world: Primarily Hogwarts

 

13.  The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe - CS Lewis

There is nothing more magical or real than walking through your closet into a magical kingdom.

Our setting: England

Other world: Narnia

Honorable mention:

Skellig - David Almond 

 

Skellig doesn't really fit the rules I set for myself, but I wanted to mention it because it is such a lovely book, and I'm the boss and I say I can.  I feel that despite the fact that David Almond is an award winning author, he's never really mentioned much, even in favourite author lists.  He writes really fantastic middle school ageish books that are just...well they're categorized as magical realism and that's a good way to describe them in every sense of the words.

Just a reminder that if you follow me on Google + and wish to continue following me, I'd recommend following me through another source as I am deleting my Google + account, at least for a while.

And that's it for this week's TTT!  What was on your list? 

Gone - Michael Grant

Summary

Goodreads:  In the blink of an eye. Everyone disappears. GONE.  Except for the young. Teens. Middle schoolers. Toddlers. But not one single adult. No teachers, no cops, no doctors, no parents. Just as suddenly, there are no phones, no internet, no television. No way to get help. And no way to figure out what's happened.

Hunger threatens. Bullies rule. A sinister creature lurks. Animals are mutating. And the teens themselves are changing, developing new talents—unimaginable, dangerous, deadly powers—that grow stronger by the day.

It's a terrifying new world. Sides are being chosen, a fight is shaping up. Townies against rich kids. Bullies against the weak. Powerful against powerless. And time is running out: On your birthday, you disappear just like everyone else...

Thoughts

I'm going to start out with the disclaimer that I somehow missed  that this book is part of a series.  I mean, I thought maybe it would be a trilogy (let's be real, everything is a trilogy these days).  I have no idea how I missed that as there's an ENTIRE 6 BOOKS so clearly this has been common knowledge for a while.  So it's my own fault I was frustrated, as I didn't realize is was a series.  On the upside, at least all the books in the series are out so I won't go mad waiting to find out what happens.  So just note that although I might have a frustrated tone, some of that is caused by my own idiocy.

 This is a really mature middle grade novel.  In some parts it's clear that it's for a younger audience, like when the author has a character say words (Astrid is a smart girl as one of the main characters, so she uses big words constantly), and then explains what they mean.  But on the flip side, Grant deals with some pretty mature concepts and it can be really graphic.  When all the adults disappear, it doesn't just gradually slip into Lord of the Flies territory.  People died in car accidents when adults suddenly disappear.  Stoves and ovens were left on from those who were cooking.  Babies were abandoned in homes and died since there was no one to take care of them.  It's pretty dark honestly. 

On the flip side of dealing with the reality of everything that would happen (and I think Grant made a very accurate description of how things would go down if this happened), there are also super powers involved.  I think I would have loved the book just from what I was describing above.  The super powers I think in the long run are going to play an important role, and I did like them here, but it started to change the feel from survivalist to super hero. 

To make this a little easier as I talk a little more details I'll give you a quick lowdown on the characters I mention, as they aren't mentioned at all in the summary.

Sam:  Natural leader, has super powers
Astrid: Genius, Sam's love interest
Quinn:  Sam's ex? best friend
Cain: Anti Sam
Drake - psychopath

There are actually easily about 10 more important characters.  That may actually play a part in why I had a hard time loving this book.  There are so many main characters it's overwhelming.  I mean if you were to simplify it, I suppose Sam is a main character?  But the other characters are side characters in the way that Ron and Hermione are side characters (aka, they aren't at all).  The criticisms I'm about to give aren't reasons I'm not loving the book, I honestly could look past all of them, so again, I have no idea why I'm not crazy fangirling over this series.

I found the romance really distracting and weird.  I think it's just that I found the rest of the book so engaging that I could honestly care less about Sam and Astrid. I also wish we saw more moments where Sam and Quinn are very good friends.  The disappearance happens in the first sentence (or two?) of the book, and things start getting jenky really quickly, so their relationship deteriorates pretty much right from the start.  We're only told they were best friends, we don't ever see it.  I'm also torn on how Quinn was portrayed.  He's the only one who is portrayed as not being able to handle his fear and I think this is the only part Grant didn't nail realistically.  I think there would be a lot more people willing to betray others, people who are inherently good, but who are cowards.  Quinn desperately wants to be brave, but he just couldn't do it.  This may partially be a set up for a long term plan Grant has put into motion as there are 5 more books, I'm not sure.  But he really seemed to focus on Quinn being a coward (*note, I'm adding this in as I've just finished the 2nd book, and Quinn really is a pretty cool guy. I wish we had seen more of that character in this book)

I also don't understand why Caine becomes the focal point for the epic battle at the end.  Yes he is clearly set up to be Sam's nemesis, but

*SPOILERS* It turns out he's Sam's twin brother, younger by a few minutes.  So technically he'll go through the FAYZ after Sam as when you turn 15 you get "blinked" out.  So wouldn't you want to focus on getting rid of Drake who is legitimately a psychopath?  Technically Caine is going to be gone too, so beating him doesn't seem like a smart end goal to me *END SPOILERS*

I think the other reason I couldn't really get into the book is the slow pacing.  Slow pacing usually doesn't bother me, but the book is so fast paced that it's weird.  Here's what I mean since that seems contradictory:  You have NO idea what is going on at the beginning.  Not a clue.  Is it God?  Is it aliens?  Is it the military?  Are they in a parallel universe?  Is there a world outside the FAYZ?  You get a lot of theories and a hint of an answer at the end, but that's it.  NONE OF THOSE QUESTIONS ARE ANSWERED AND IT KILLED ME.  On the flip side, it is so action packed you don't even have a moment to take a breath, so it is very fast-paced in that sense.  I found it extremely frustrating, and a good part of that is likely that I thought this was the only book.

I'm about 3/4 of the way through the book and I'm beginning to believe either there is going to be a really shoddy resolution covered in ten pages or something really fishy is going on.

I'm about 20 pages from the end and google what on earth is going on because NOTHING HAS BEEN EXPLAINED.  Discover there are 5 more book.

Honestly, those are my only negative criticisms of the book.  There is so much I LOVED about this book.  I really think that if this ever happened in real life, this is exactly how it would go down.  It was scarily realistic, I could definitely imagine myself in their situation.  And while I'm not sure having so many main characters is logistically great for a novel, it is also exactly how it would be going down in real life, with everything coming up simultaneously.  I also think that Sam's portrayal is great - I mean he is a 14 year-old kid having to deal with the responsibilities of a government leader and a parent in a way, over a bunch of other scared kids.  And he doesn't want to do it.  But I do believe certain people just fall into those roles because people automatically look up to them (unlike people like Caine...and all politicians ever who DO want that role).  Also oh my goodness the diversity!  There are kids of all races!  There wasn't one token guy from a race - there were a few scattered here and there, just like you would expect in a small town in California.  And the women aren't damsels in distress.  It was so, so nice to have an even playing field for race and gender.  Very refreshing.

Overall

I think this has the potential to be an awesome series.  I'm a bit frustrated that more information wasn't given.  I'm only about 2% less clueless as to what happened than I was at the start of the book.  That being said, there's five more books in the series, so the slow development can potentially be forgiven.  If you are ok with a slow paced, but very intense series, definitely check this out.  There were so many great things about the book that I am extremely interested in where Grant is going to take this series!


Bechdel Test

"Hi, Mary," Dahra said.  "What do we have here?"
"I'm so sorry to bother you," Mary said.  "I know how busy you are.  But she has some kind of pain in her stomach."

The conversation actually lasts a full two pages.  This is particularly impressive since this book primarily follows a male character, although occasionally we get glimpses of the other characters of the book (like this one)

Friday Five (4)

1.  You guys voted, and I will be reviewing The Diviners and Ring of Endless Light.  I'm thinking of doing a review of books I've really loved every couple weeks so I can stay excited about blogging (and not feel like reading is work.  Because reading is never work unless it is nonfiction and/or assigned to you in school haha)

2.  A couple weeks ago I won my first giveaway!  And then like a day later I won another one which is AWESOME.  To celebrate I'll definitely be doing a giveaway for The Magic Warbler won off Vailia's Page Turner sometime in the next month (or month and a bit). The other book, Saving Laura (won on Goodreads), I may or may not do a giveaway for as it isn't a YA book, but we'll see.

3 - 5.  So I'm on to a much more serious topic which is going to take up a bit of space and I haven't been dealing with much else this week anyway.

For the past 4 months I have been harassed by a guy that to my knowledge I don't know, have never met, and have no mutual aquaintances with.  I'm not going to go into too many details because I don't feel comfortable sharing them, but it is an experience that I want people to know about so that they know it is more common than people would like to think, and how to deal with it.

I received a text about 4 months ago from a random number.  I responded, believing it was a friend messing with me.  Needless to say, this was not the case.  I kept texting to be polite and because he seemed like an ok guy.  I know most of you are already banging your head against the wall about my stupidity (don't worry I did too).  After I had not responded for about 10 minutes he called me numerous times and texted me an almost uncountable number of times (counting's not my strong point anyway :p).  At this point I realized I was dealing with a deranged person and I didn't respond to his text messages.  That was mistake number 2.  Not that I didn't respond - don't EVER engage your harasser if you can avoid it.  But you need to make sure you ask them to stop immediately so you have documentation of it.  And there's always the chance they actually will stop.

This continued over the past few months, and I not once responded.  The texts were a little creepy, but more annoying than anything, so I just tried ignoring them.  I tried to laugh it off, as I felt like I was overreacting and that people would think I was just paranoid.  But then this week happened.  He changed his number.  Maybe he just got a new phone, but I'm not unaware there is a chance he got a new number because I was not responding to his old number.  He began texting me sexually explicit content.  Again, I won't go into details, but they were terrifying to read.  At this point I realized I had made a huge mistake in not dealing with this sooner.  After some freaking out, logical thinking, and a few glasses of wine I knew that responding was going to make it worse, but it also had to be done.  I sent a simple text asking him to stop contacting me.  The content became less offensive but the texting continued.  And I'm talking multiple texts per minute.  And then he got mad I wasn't responding and that's when the...explicit pictures started, and more bashing of my character ensued.


I have since filed a police report and changed my number.  I am taking a big chance posting this in a blog.  I'm more than a little concerned about it too.  But I feel this is important enough to share so other girls know they are not alone, and that it can happen to anyone.  And that it is never, never your fault no matter how much you might feel you played a part in it.  I chose to respond to his original texts, and it made me feel like it was my fault it they continued the way it did.  I felt embarrassed that the texts bothered me so much, and that there wasn't anything I could do to make them stop.  It seemed like an overreaction to do anything other than block the number.   (And I have since discovered that AT&T charges $5 a month to block numbers.  That is unacceptable.  While my situation was in no way ok, there are people out there who are in a MUCH more serious situation than I am.  You are going to make victims pay for the crimes of the perpetrators?)

 My inner Olivia Benson was outraged.

I want everyone to know that no matter who it is, if you are feeling uncomfortable with what is happening you NEED to speak up.  I didn't respond to this guy for months and it escalated way beyond just being uncomfortable.  Engaging the person usually makes it escalate even faster. It's easier to deal with if you don't know the person, but no matter who it is, you need to deal with it.  If you ignore it, it will NEVER get better, and it will likely get worse.  Don't let anyone, including the voice in your head, tell you that you are overreacting and that is not a big deal (None of my friends said that.  That one is all on me.)  If you can, get documentation of the harassment or stalking.  Save evidence of EVERYTHING so that if you need to press charges you can.  Be clear that you wish the attention to stop, and document it.  That's all you need to do.  If you ask someone to stop and they continue, legally (as far as I can tell), you have grounds to file a charge.  Even if it doesn't seem like a big deal - when the guy first started texting me, it was mostly conversational and slightly personal questions (what I do, how old I am, etc).  That doesn't seem like a big deal, right?  Sure it was a little weird he kept contacting me when I didn't respond and that he would send me 20 texts in 5 minutes, but that's just annoying, not dangerous, right?  I had warning bells going off in my head for all the right reasons, and I ignored them.  Don't doubt yourself.  Your instincts are 99% right.  If this doesn't happen to you, I guarantee it will happen to someone you know.  I was not exaggerating when I said that it happens way more often than you think (and it only happens to people off in a distant place, right?) Be the voice of reason for your friends and family if this happens to them.  Have them ask the person stop the action, and if you are in a situation where you can do so, stop contact immediately.  As soon as the other person steps a toe across the line, contact the police.  You/he/she might feel silly doing so, but it is always, always better to be safe than sorry.  The consequences of not dealing with it sooner can destroy your life.

There is still a small part of me trying to rationalize what happened, and telling me that I overreacted, that it wasn't a big deal.  Despite all the proof to the contrary, I still feel like I'm being silly.   And that is what is scariest to me.  I feel like I am wrong, even though I KNOW I'm not.  And it's made me feel scared and out of control.  I think I'm partly publicly posting this part of my life out of defiance.  I also love blogging.  I don't want to give it up until I have to, and maybe posting this experience is another stupid choice on my part.  I have not been contacted by him outside of my phone, so I am hopeful.  He does not know my full name, but doing a reverse search is shockingly easy and cheap to do.  I think I am going to delete my Google + profile, just to be safe.  If you follow me through Google + and wish to continue following my blog, I'd recommend you follow me through e-mail, Bloglovin, or the feed thingie.  Also, don't be offended if I delete some of your comments.  If they contain references to personal information about them, I'm deleting them :(

And on that long depressing note, that was my week.  How was yours?  Hopefully better than mine - give me some lovely stories so I can feel better about life!