Monday, November 10, 2014

Coming Out of the (Book Blogging) Closet

Now I really want to rewatch this show...


I used to be really shy about people knowing that I wrote a blog.  I can't even really put a finger on what it was I was so uncomfortable about.  I wasn't ashamed of it exactly, just afraid it would change how people see me (and I'm not sure how I thought that would change - just a niggling feeling that was the sort of thing people laughed about behind your back I suppose).  I felt like this even before I reviewed mostly YA books, so it has nothing to do with how society views someone my age reading those sorts of books.  Maybe it's because I haven't been an "adult" for very long, but I'm not even sure I knew that was a thing people were ashamed of!  (But it's also likely due to the fact that reading as much as I do in general provokes negative attention, so I used to only fangirl over books with my one or two friends who also loved books, or occasionally with my family when our reading interests lined up).  Probably close to a year ago now, I decided to let my family know about it since I'd started writing some personal posts.  I thought it was going to alleviate some of the guilt when I am a terrible daughter/grand daughter and drop off the face of the earth for a month.  (Mostly it's prompted phone calls wanting to know why they didn't know about things before I put them on the blog :-p. What can I say... I'm usually ok with communication, but I can be really, really terrible haha)

Since I've told my family about it, I'm a bit more relaxed about people in my life knowing about it.  I'm equal parts proud and embarrassed, and really it's a weird feeling.  It makes me feel alternately really shy and secretive and then like I want to say "Look at this awesome thing I do!" (And then I remember that normal people give me kind of disbelieving looks when I talk about books to them, so I try and reign it in haha).  So at the moment I'm kind of trying to act nonchalant (but mostly awkward). I don't want to hide it, because it's a big part of my life and that feels weird, but I try only talk about it if it comes up in conversation.  I'm trying to be a bit more brave about it, but then I worry it comes off as bragging? Or shame?  Basically it feels Part of me wants to be totally down with people I know reading it (because a few of them do), and part of me wants to keep these parts of my life completely separate (and well...it's a bit late for that).  I've found that once someone knows about it, it's a little easier to talk to them about it?

So I guess...how do you guys do it? Are most of you keeping it a separate thing? And if you don't, how do you become comfortable with talking to people about it in real life? (Or am I just a crazy super self conscious person and it's just not a problem for you to talk about it?)

24 comments:

  1. I'm the same way!! I rarely tell people I blog...mostly because I don't want people I know in RL to read my reviews. I have no idea why. It just feels weird.

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  2. People know I blog. Whether they read it or not I don't know. I've gotten more personal over the years on the blog then I was before.

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  3. No one aside from my sister knows I blog. Actually, nobody knows that I also do web graphics/design or any of my online hobbies. I don't know, like you said there's something uncomfortable about it. And it never came up in conversations so I think there was no need to tell them. :/

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  4. kirstymariejonesstudioreadsNovember 11, 2014 at 9:54 AM

    My mum knows about mine, and Amber since she was doing some posts (which is funny, because she was like Why won't you let me post them myself? and I'm like It's my baby, go away. My mum read one of my reviews the other day and was like I liked how you wrote that one and I'm like You're actually reading stuff on there? Why? I hate knowing somebody I know reading anything of mine, and I song write too, more back in high school than now, and a friend was starting a band and wanted to read one and I was just NO, not happening. Don't know why either. I wanted to slap myself the other week though, since Waterstones were looking for Christmas staff, so I went in, and it was only after that I thought I should've said something about blogging, especially since lately they've been having people in the YA section for recommendations, could've helped me a little. But at the same time, same thing, I'm worried it comes off as bragging or using it for a gain. I can talk to family/friends about it, but I won't talk about it otherwise. But you should!

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  5. Yes. yes this is exactly how I feel when it comes to blogging. I'm kind of embarrassed when writing posts or commenting around the blogosphere and someone sees and asks what I'm doing. AND, especially when I get giveaways in the mail, I feel like my roommates are silently judging me, because neither of them blog. So yeah, I definitely keep it private, I don't know when I'll open up about blogging to my real life friends, maybe one day.

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  6. Right?! Like...why do we feel so weird about it? I just get paranoid - and I should be way more paranoid about strangers reading what I write than family/friends haha

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  7. I've ended up getting fairly personal on the blog, so I feel like I should be more ok about sharing it than I am! It just feels weird somehow. I think I assumed no one reads mine, but then every now and then one of my friends will say something about something I've posted here and I'm like...O.O (And immediately start double thinking everything I write haha)

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  8. I remember you posting about no one knowing about your blog! It's true, it doesn't come up in conversation all that often. It feels weird though, because bloglovin is attached to my facebook, so I'm like...should I just pretend I don't know that you know about it? Or should I acknowledge it? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO REACT ABOUT THIS?! I seriously have mental freak outs haha

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  9. Yeah, I know my mom and grandmother are regular readers, so I've finally gotten comfortable with the knowledge that they read EVERY SINGLE POST because they love me that much haha! (I get frequent phone calls discussing it. Ah the joys of living across the country from all of your family). Bahaha - I totally get why you want to do all of the posting. I'd be exactly like that too!

    I didn't know you wrote songs! That's awesome! I feel like that's even more personal than blogging in a way. Writing music is...well. It's just personal haha!

    I would be totally shameless about talking about my blog if it was about getting a book job lol! But it's weird because I do often feel like when I talk about it that it sounds like I'm bragging! (Which is also weird, because no one, and I really mean pretty much no one I know, gives a CRAP about book blogging lol). I'm hoping the more I talk about it (at least with friends and family) the less weird I'll feel about it all? (And good luck with the job!)

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  10. gosh and i thought i was the only one who felt this way all this time!! *hugs*

    even as i was happily blog hopping on the virtual world, i had qualms about telling my real family and friends about my blog at first. can't pinpoint what exactly i feared, maybe i wasn't confident enough about my blog then? i'm not sure if my real friends appreciated what i wrote on the internet?? because it's inevitable that we behave slightly differently on the internet, and idk if my real friends could take that. SO CONFUSE.

    i still don't actively volunteer information about my blog on a first meeting, but some of my best friends are frequent visitors of the blog, and their opinions mean a lot to me :) it's getting easier, and i don't feel the need to protect what i write online from my friends, neither is it anything to make a big fuss about so! just smile and stay cool hahaha

    p.s. what show is that in your gif?

    alicia @ noverly things

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  11. Right?? My brain is immediately like "uhhh....quick think of an excuse! I'm...writing an e-mail?" (My brain is not so good with the quick thinking or excuses lol). I'm actually pretty ok with mailing books because I do it for bookmooch (if you don't know what that is go check it out because it's AWESOME if you want to get your hands on an older book/have too many books). I've only had one giveaway too which probably helps haha!

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  12. Nope, you (and I) are definitely not alone in this judging by almost everyone else's comments!


    Maybe that's what it is - we care more about what friends and family think of our writing than strangers. Which considering the somewhat personal level of my blog is a little backwards haha! But I also think that I don't have a lot of people in my life (physically) who are interested in this sort of thing. If they read books, they're serious, heavy classics and definitely look at me like a crazy person for reading what I do. (Ugh. So judgey!) I do have a couple friends who are occasional readers of my blog, and I always feel a kind of combined thrill of excitement and panic haha! Hopefully I'll start getting more comfortable with it...although it's been over a year, so I guess we'll see!


    And it's from Will and Grace! (Am I showing my age?)

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  13. Oh my gosh, thank you for this Elizabeth. No one I know in real life knows that I blog. The why of it is actually right in my blog name and I think in my blog intro. Obviously I get obsessed and dork out pretty hard about some pretty geeky things and quite frankly there is no one irl who is quite that geeky and I am embarrassed to share it with them. I am much more comfortable putting it out there for strangers apparently, lol. Know one I know would engage with me in discussion or at least just let me ramble on and on about the X Files and every nuance of Scully and Mulder or would be okay with me ranting about a particular character in a book I just read. Sure there are X Files discussion forums or Stargate obsession forums where there are folks who are even more intense than I am but I wanted one platform where I could dork about all of my favorite things (books, TV, Movies, Gardening) and perhaps connect with a diverse array of like-minded folk. Hence the blog and why I hide it. It's like being spiderman or superman with a hidden persona. Maybe, I am a super geek:)
    But it's been on my mind lately because being "hidden" sometimes seems like a hindrance. I have no social media presence for the blog because I'm afraid people I know will discover it. This in turn makes it hard for me to be a good platform for ARCs etc...which I feel bad about especially if it's a book I love. My reach just isn't that far.
    I'm not sure why I can't just let my freak flag fly - I don't think I would lose friends etc... but I do think I would be seen differently and for some reason I'm not comfortable with that. Though I am comfortable with this online community knowing just what a dork I really am, lol!

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  14. I am so so soooo embarrassed of my writing. o.O I don't even know why!!! I should be proud of it. It's art and it's something I'm passionate about, but I absolutely cringe any time someone mentions I'm a writer...and then I go hide. ;-) My family all knows about my blog and my parents read it! Which is awesome and supportive of them! But outside of my immediate family, I never even mention I blog or write or...anything.

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  15. What a great post! I'm so glad you did eventually come out since book blogging is the coolest thing ever (IMO). I was very open with my family from the beginning but I rarely tell people about my blog.

    I'm also so glad you participated in the blog hop so that I could discover this great blog! Off to read more posts!
    Ps.
    Your giffage is perfect. Keep it up!

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  16. Yesss! I'm lucky enough that I somehow ended up with a large geeky crew of friends as far as games and tv shows go, so luckily I can at least get excited about with them. Sadly, manga (or at least the genres I read), K-dramas, and books don't get the same outlet. And it's been so great talking to people here because it feels like everyone gets excited about lots of different things, so pretty much everyone I talk to I can talk to about loads of things! And it's also great because I can hardcore fangirl without people looking disturbed haha!


    I know sometimes being as open and fangirly as I am would bother me if I was working in a more professional environment or looking for more standard job than I am. I imagine that might play into it a bit for you? And there's just something about getting as excited as we get for this fringe corner of interests. I feel like in general, people are really, really supportive in this community. Opening it up to outsiders (even if said outsiders are people we actually know) can feel threatening/scary somehow. Or at least that is the conclusion I've come to this week haha

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  17. I'm the same way if I have to make recordings of myself. It just makes me cringe! I don't write compositions, but I imagine that it would be a similar effect. There's just something really..intimate about it?

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  18. Clearly we are so very unbiased on the book blogging front haha! I'm finally getting comfortable with my family reading, which is kind of nice honestly. It's opened up some interesting conversations we might not have had otherwise.


    Oops - I just got my blog hop post up a couple hours ago *guilty look*. Thanks for stopping by though! (And while my gif usage has declined for the past few weeks, I am so very fond of it haha)

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  19. I would definitely feel the most uncomfortable revealing the level of my dorkiness to my work colleagues for sure. I would be afraid it would undermine a little of the professional respect I need to do my job properly. You never know though. We all have our quirks:0).

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  20. I'm exactly the same way! I haven't let my roommates see my blog, even though they know about it because I'm weirdly shy too! Good to know you feel the same!

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  21. It sounds like a lot of us feel that way! It's funny how open we can all be, but when it comes to people we know it's like...NO. GO AWAY. DON'T READ THIS.

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  22. Wow, this should you tell or not concept is really foreign to me. Huh, I didn't even know there were bloggers questioning things like this. Maybe it is because all of my first blogging friends didn't consider things like this? Hmmm... should I be concerned? All of my friends and family know I book blog. Not all of them know I have a personal blog though, only because there are some more esoteric musings on it. There is an easter egg for it on the sidebar of my YA/Adult book blog.

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  23. You shouldn't be concerned - it's awesome you're so open with it! I don't think any of us who are reserved on that front even know why we feel so uncomfortable with it. Here's hoping eventually I feel as comfortable as you do!

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  24. I hope you do because as far as I know everyone who knows that I have book blogs think it is great! As far as the reading YA thing, it is funny because none of my friends and family would think anything of that, but if I was reading and blogging about romance novels, now that I might want to keep a secret. :)

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